Grasshopper Needs a Break

Well, I don’t even know where to start. I think we’re all just so emotionally exhausted that we’ve tied the knot and are swinging.

Vacation happens in ten days. It can’t get here soon enough. I am so ready to show all the responsibilities and projects tail lights that I would seriously consider bartering off the next ten days just to get to vacation sooner.

And just as I finished writing this I realized that some time between now and then I have to give the house a good scrubbing so I won’t be embarrassed when the house sitter shows up. Sigh…

Notwithstanding the continuing cancer care clinic we run, things are going pretty well overall. After the electrical mishap and the phone mishap and the incident Monday where both cats went to the vet after Miss A’s mom had to have fluids for dehydration and I got stood up, we’ve had a couple of days where nothing has gone wrong. Yes, I’m knocking on wood currently.

The reality that we have three elderly animals and an elderly mom with cancer is really hitting home right now. There’s been a lot of crying lately.

Poor Miss A has lost three pairs of shoes in the last couple of weeks to Blaze (aka demon cat, devil’s spawn, hellcat, dumbass cat) who has taken to pissing in her shoes if they are left on the floor. The vets now think that in addition to the failing kidneys she is developing Alzheimer’s.

I’ve tried to clean the shoes with the Nature’s Miracle stuff. It’s not working. Next step is to run them through the washer and then treat again. I’m pretty sure they’re toast though.

Anyway, we do have a few lights at the end of the tunnel. Vacation, obviously, in which we miss the last actual chemo treatment and the ensuing hell week where her mom goes from manic to barely able to get out of bed. Thank goodness for step-sisters.

The last chemo treatment, obviously, upon which we all begin fervently praying that enough cognitive ability returns where we do not have to physically manage her every single day and we will once again be able to cook a meal without having to pack it up and transport it before it can be consumed.

Oh, and then there’s the chickens. At least in my head there are chickens. We’re going Friday afternoon to look at a chicken tractor and some bantam silver penciled barred rock chickens. Miss A and I can not seem to agree on a design for actually building a coop. I haven’t figured out if it’s because we can’t agree or because I’m ready to make a decision and get started and she’s just ready to turtle. All I know is that the last time we tried to figure out what kind of coop we wanted I ended up aggravated because she wouldn’t quit changing her mind and let me finalize a design.

So we’re going to go look at one for purchase. I’m at the point where if it’s even close to being acceptable I’ll buy it just to get us started. Of course, I haven’t discussed this with the house sitter yet. I wonder if she’ll mind adding chickens to her resume.

And speaking of emotional exhaustion, here’s yet another example. My mom just called to tell me that my brother’s wife got a good job cleaning at the college. A regular paycheck, insurance, and retirement benefits is something I’m not sure they have any experience with. In the next breath she tells me that he’s being hauled into court for his first child on some sort of custody issue (he’s never paid child support) and if he doesn’t show he’ll lose all parental rights. He’s not planning on going. Sigh…

This doesn’t surprise me and you know, I’ve been trying so long to stay in touch with my niece (to very little avail) that I don’t even care anymore. She’s 11 or 12 and her mother stands in between her and our family even with those of us who just want to love her. Some day she’ll come around when she wants or needs something. Or she won’t. I don’t have enough left to worry about it anymore. And that’s a horrible, horrible way to feel about a blood relation.

Acceptance, Grasshopper…